Oh dear. Mommy is burnt out at Christmas.

I struggle this time of year. When God opens your eyes to something, it is really hard to ignore it, especially when you are trying to concentrate on Jesus.

The materialism of the season is driving me batty but I don't have the courage to do something major about it. I don't have the courage to tell my family and friends, "Oh, you probably won't like my gift anyway and even if you do, it will end up in next year's garage sale, so can I just feed a 1,000 starving children and we all will be happy." But I don't. I feel like such a bahhumbug. It is not that I care less for my family and friends than I did 5 years ago. It is just that I have seen children with no shoes, no clothes, no food and no one to care for them. How can I just spend money on gifts that no one really needs?

I know that not everyone has experienced the things that I have. I also know that most people have not held an infant in their arms who may not have lived due to malnutrition. But what do I do with this? God allowed me to experience it.

It is really not helping with the stress of the Holiday Season. I think I am burning out, I'm tired. Is it disobedience? I really hate to disappoint people but do I hate disappointing my Jesus more?

I wish we had the finances to do both. Feed the 1,000 children and give the gifts but wouldn't that be avoiding the subject. To be sacrificial, I should then feed 2,000 children. Oh, is anyone else struggling out there? I have been told that God put me in American and it is ok to live here. Ok, but maybe He has kept me in American to use what we have. Use it to "seek justice, defend the oppressed, take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow." (Isaiah 1)

So hard to do the cultural things, when all I can see is faces like this.



Is there a balance?

Boy, Am I struggling to find it.

Fall changes

This fall has been extremely crazy here at my house.

Noah went to his first day of "real" school. Man, I would never had thought that letting my 12 year old go to school would be so hard.. for mom, that is.



Adding school has set all of our lives into transition. Noah has handled it really well. I was not prepared for how school would so dramatically change our lives here at home. Our days have really changed. We are trying to learn a new dance without one of our members. School at home with Lily is a lot shorter but trying to get things accomplished with a two year old has come with new challenges so most days school is accomplished during nap time. Noah does most of his homework during a study period but we are trying to figure out when to accomplish the remaining homework and get dinner made so that he can go to soccer practice. I know many families are much busier but I was keeping our lives simple on purpose and school has changed many of the aspects that I can control. Gotta love transitions.

Praying for guidance on what to rearrange so this transition can turn into the "happy" norm.

Hello New Blog

I have not been blogging for over a year, so I thought a fresh start was in order.

I am really needing a place to be honest, share what is on my heart.

I really don't want to use this as an arena to whine and complain but more as a tool I can use to bring my life into perspective.

So this blog is not for you, it is for me but you are welcome to come along.

It will hopefully be different than it was before.

So here we go.